Kiwifruit

Last Sunday’s almost daffodil.

It’s been a glorious weekend, weatherwise, and it was fabulous to feel the sun on my face while I was out in the garden yesterday (even though it did tint my nose ever-so-slightly pink; there’s no escaping that hole in the ozone layer, even in the midst of winter).

Plugged into my iPod I spent hours hacking back the bracken which was threatening to smother the driveway, then I dealt to a wayward wisteria which had designs on strangling the hydrangea next to it. Heave! Ho! Puuuulll! Bloody thing, it wouldn’t come without a fight, and today I have some seriously aching muscles to prove it. Massage? Viggo? Anyone?

After the wisteria wrestling, I deheaded the hydrangea (which now has the forlorn demeanour of a freshly shorn sheep) then attended to the three rose bushes that grow up the verandah posts along the front of the house. Rust, aphids, dead foliage, weeds; they were feeling very sorry for themselves indeed and it was all my fault. Bad, bad gardener!

Apart from all the horticulture, I’ve also been all domestimacated in the kitchen with too much fruit. Namely, a big sack full of oranges and a surplus of apples. I spent a couple of hours juicing the oranges – the juice was delicious; tart with a hint of sweet, *perfect* in my opinion but Miss 8.10 declared it was “Eeeoooo! Too bitter! Bleurgh!” so all the more for the Other Harf and me – and slicing up the apples for tonight’s apple and boysenberry crumble which no doubt Miss 8.10 will have zero complaints about, especially as she shovels it down her gob with lashings of custard.

So, what did you get up to in this weekend?

Eating – Griffin’s “Cookie Bear Stripes” biscuits. The bright colours and the presence of the right honourable Mr C.Bear on the packet indicate these are aimed directly at the kidlets, but I prefer aiming their shortbready, chocolate-coated goodness right into my mouth.

Listening – to Youth and Young Manhood as I’ve been being buying up Kings of Leon’s entire back catalogue in reverse order. While I love how the band sounds now, their very first album has me imagining the Followill family (the band is made up of three brothers and their cousin) jamming away in their garage. Awesome to blast out in your car stereo on the way home from work.

Reading – The Independence of Miss Mary Bennet – being an avid fan of Miss Austen I was rather intrigued by the premise of this book when I came across it in Whangarei Library: “Everyone knows the story of Elizabeth and Jane Bennet in Pride and
Prejudice. But what about their sister Mary, she of the atrocious
singing voice and the staidly religious bent of mind?” So I took it out and began to read it, and was really enjoying the characters, the plot and the narrative then…all of a sudden…Mary gets kidnapped by an underground Christian cult. What the! *incredulous*

Watching – this week’s selection of $1 DVD’s are Amazing Grace which we watched last night and thoroughly enjoyed – a great piece of history, a wonderful story and great acting (I didn’t recognise Rufus Sewell till half way through), Little Fish, (all very Antipodean, starring Cate Blanchett, Hugo Weaving and Sam Neill) and Blood Diamond. What’s with all the LdC movies I keep getting out? Because, strictly speaking I’m not really a fan. Is Leo just one of those things you grow into in your old age or something?

And finally tonight, I’ve been drinking Saints Cabernet Merlot. Just like Master of Wine Bob Campbell says, it’s “Juicy, soft-textured red with appealing berry/cherry and spicy oak
flavours. Approachable and easy-drinking red that’s in peak form right
now.” Fi says “It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s winter, and that’s when you drink red wine. Even if it does stain your teeth. Which isn’t a good look.”

So what have you been eating/listening to/reading/watching/drinking?

Dear K,

Today, it has been seven years since
you died. For the past two years we have missed this anniversary. I have
remembered it afterwards and kept it to myself. The Other Harf tells me
it was the same for him.

This is grief turning into memories.
This is the bold colour of your presence in our lives fading. Not disappearing,
just fading.

I think the reason this year I’ve remembered
this anniversary is because I’ve been going through old emails over the
past couple of weeks and came across several from July, 2003. I’d requested your friends to
send me anecdotes, memories of you, the year after your death. They were
funny, sad, poignant, and it was as though you were right there, standing
behind me, chuckling away, reading them over my shoulder. Yes, it was totally weird how you used to lay your trousers flat on the floor with all the
wrinkles smoothed out when you crashed on the couch overnight! And as for
your appalling Faux French? Hey, at least *I* understood you, mange tout, c’est vous plais.

Now when I think of you, it is because
my eyes catch the framed picture on the wall of the study. Miss 8.10 and
I were creating it on the lounge floor of 3 Kenwood Gardens when that phonecall
came. It reminds me that was what we were doing before 9.30am on the 21st
of July, 2002, before you left.

I sometimes remember your funeral. How the sky was so vividly blue that day. And how the Other Harf threw his beautiful
eulogy onto your grave. How it felt like I was crying from my very depths
of my soul.

Sometimes I think of you, when I sit
on our verandah. You are beside me, smoking your 20th ciggie for the day and drinking your fourth cup of tea. Sometimes I think of you when we’re at the beach when Miss 8.10 and I are collecting shells; you loved to beachcomb too.

But most of all I think, oh how I wish
you were still here.

Fi

x

Rain. Shine. Rain. Shine. All in all, a typical mid-July afternoon. Outside, the Other Harf is perched up a ladder trying to clean clumps of grass out of the gutters (how so much of it makes it up there I do not know). Up in the paddock behind the house, the cows are bleating about the lack of grass, so maybe we could hook them up. But cows and ladders are not really an option.

Me, I’m spitting and swearing about the absolutely DIRE internet speed our Vodem (yes, Vodafone, I’m linking to you! I want my money back!) is producing. Slow? Think retired hamster with hip replacement speed. I have seen mould grow quicker. It’s time to face facts and get us some satellie action, via the likes of Farmside. Yes, ka-ching, it’s going to cost money, but wah! I wanna watch You Tube! I want to upload massive amounts of photos in the blink of an eye! And download music and a printer driver so my printer can talk to my new PC! Is that too much to ask???

Miss 8.10 is moping round the house due to a large bollocking she received from yours truly for lying, yet again (this time to her nana, who was most concerned that an almost nine year old was pulling that sort of stunt). Due to the complete lack of remorse and the fact that she just keeps spinning blatant fibs I have informed our daughter (in a very stern, horrible mother voice) that if any grown-up catches her lying again she will have the following punishments dealt out to her: no telly, no DVDs, no computer, no pocket-money and no trips to her favourite cafe after Saturday morning netball FOR A WHOLE MONTH. There was a bit of shiny-eyed, lower lip dropping, you’re so mean to me, but I think it’s sunk in. It just really annoys me that she’s such a good kid in so many ways and she should know better. Humph!

On a lighter note, my new job is going really well, and I’m actually happy to get out of bed of a morning now (and it really does help that I have some lovely new clothes to wear). I’ve been dwelling on the old job, thinking about the things that happened and how I was treated and have decided to write it all down, to get closure about a period that was one of the most unhappiest of my life.

And then I can move on for good.

Kia Ora and good evening folks. Welcome to the Kiwifruit News and Exciting Happenings Bulletin on this day Sunday the twelth of July, 2009.

{shuffles papers}
{adjusts spectacles}
{clears throat}
{clears throat, again}

Residents battened down the hatches after the worst storm of the year (so far) hit the Kiwifruit Homestead with wind-gusts of up to 120kms an hour and torrential rain. Gumboots and items of wet weather gear on the back porch all suffered major flooding due to the lack of sufficient preparation by in-house staff. Sources inform us that management may be laying complaints after suffering from…”soggy socks”.

A disappointing outcome, that’s for sure.

In other news, Rodney the cat is still missing in action after an altercation with Max the fox terrier on the 4th of July. Witnesses advise that after bailing up the cat up the pohutukawa, the fox terrier then proceeded to corner him in the barn, at which point an assault was understood to have taken place. Max was retired with a cut to the nose, but there has been no sightings of Rodney since.

Our team on the front line are said to be investigating the matter…

Work is continuing at the Beige Barn after the new residents moved in last weekend. Our KN&EH reporter indicates that the cold is not so much of an issue, especially with an extra duvet and a beanie, and that temporary arrangements for the washing of dishes are semi-satisfactory after years of the luxury of dishwashers. However, all parties seem to be extremely happy, and having one’s own room is “really, really, really cool”, according to Niece G, aged nine.

{clears throat}
{peers over glasses knowledgably}

In breaking news, Kiwifruit News and Exciting Happenings has been advised that in a blatant disregard for property, local waxeyes (a small, native bird) have been pecking at management’s much prized guavas, causing irrecoverable damage. The said guavas were intended for the production of guava jelly, a much loved childhood treat of a certain member of management, and much swearing was heard on the discovery of the vandalism.

In-house staff have been reassigned on guava picking detail.

Yes indeedy, things are looking up career-wise for management this week, with a key member of staff embarking on a vital, off-site role. In-house staff have been invaluable with their support, providing backup in key, behind-the-scenes functions, which has enabled management to put in 110%. Both parties are said to be finding the current situation “extremely effective and highly satisfactory”.

And finally {assumes warm-fuzzies expression}, my word, yes, things are certainly peachy IT wise for the Kiwifruit Homestead, with the recent installation of a new desktop PC. Photoshop Elements 7 is functioning “like a dream”, with a little assistance from an extremely helpful wee book called Photoshop Elements 7 Book for Digital Photographers and there’s been no reported crashes or incidents so far.

Now that is good news, folks!

{Leans forearm on desk}

On that happy note, that wraps up tonight’s edition of Kiwifruit News and Exciting Happenings. Thanks for joining me, and have a very pleasant evening, indeed.

{Queue dramatic, end-of-news music}
{Stacks papers}
{Zoom out}
{Fade to credits…}

It’s not on tonight’s menu, but it is on the menu for the weekend. It’s a recipe I spotted and thought ooh, there’s one for when it’s just us – seeing as chorizo and bacon are strictly forbidden for Bruvinlaw (not only would the spices disagree with him, he’s permanently off all pig-related food items in deference to Boris the pig).

Other things that will be making a reappearance in the next few weeks will be Thai Green Curry (too spicy and not child-friendly), Lamb steaks (too expensive for a bulk, as in four adults and three kids sized meal), Laksa (again, too spicy and not child-friendly), fresh fish (too expensive) and my traditional Chicken, Ham and Leek Pie (a dish that takes ages to prepare when there’s just us, let alone the whole whanau).

There’s certain foods that are good regardless of how many people they have to serve and they’ll stay on the Kiwifruit Homestead menu: Bacon & Egg Pie (Bruvinlaw used to pick out the bacon, the fussy sod), Fish Pie, Spag Bog and my favourite Friday night dinner, homemade hamburgers.

De-lish-ish!

• I’ve just finished assembling our new PC (bought on sale at JD Hi-Fi. I love JD Hi-Fi) and it’s all fast and shiny and best of all the freshly installed Photoshop Elements 7 actually functions like it’s supposed to! Instead of loading up at snail-speed and spitting the dummy when requested to save a file, it opens in milli-seconds and all requests are actioned at a blink of an eye!

• The house guests are semi-moved out – they sleep and watch telly over at the Beige Barn (rugged up to the eyeballs – the insulation isn’t fully installed yet) and are temporarily eating and showering over here. Not having Nephew T sleeping in the next room kickboxing the wall in the middle of the night has done wonders for my beauty sleep, dahlinks.

• Tomorrow I start my new job which is really partly an old job – I got asked to come back to my old company in a new role as a team leader two days after quitting That Job – a higher salary, working with people I like and in downtown Whangarei (close to shops and good coffee!) – it was all meant to be…

• To reflect this new start I bought a wardrobe of new clothes with my last pay as well as a new coat, a new handbag and some rather lovely long, high heeled brown boots. Nora Batty is banished!

• Miss 8.9 had an excellent Term 2 school report and is reading at a 12-13 year old level and spelling at an 11-12 year old level (this ability I can safely say gets from me). She’s also doing above average in Maths too (this ability she does not get from me – I am pointing the finger at the Other Harf on this one) so as a “Well done” I bought her the highly coveted Taylor Swift CD she’s supposed to have been saving up her pocket money for but keeps blowing it on tat at Whangarei’s extensive selection of $2 shops instead. All her Christmases came at once.

• I have been prodigiously lazy in the past three months – it’s far easy to crack open a bottle of wine and mope about how much one’s job sucks than it is to spend thirty minutes on the treadmill out in the draughty, dim shed. This is got to change and that change is Stage Two of the Trans-fi-mation!

• JD Hi-Fi also had Sex in the City – the Movie on sale (a bargain I couldn’t resist at $12!) and right after this I’m going to lummox on the couch and watch it, then I’m going to cook the whole fam damily a big feed of roast chicken, roast kumaru and spuds and some very cheesy cauliflower cheese. Have a wonderful Sunday!

Before. Just call me Shaggy.

And after…

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Before….

And after…

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