I don’t bleat on about work, ‘cos lord only knows that can come back and bit you in the butt big time, but today I feel compelled to compile this wee list.
- What’s with all that coughing and not covering your mouth? Did your mother never teach you that it spreads germs? I hate to see the state of your keyboard under a microscope.
- Capital letters in an email is shouting. HA!
- Hey you! Wipe the bench! Acres of spilt sugar granules don’t miraculously disappear.
- When the sign on the microwave asks you to Please Cover Your Food, that’s what the sign actually means. Duh.
- Half an hour telephone conversations with your mother in an open plan office? Lovely for you but, not so much for everybody else.
- Just ‘cos you smoke doesn’t mean ten more extra breaks than non-smokers.
- Yes! Talk really, really loud on the phone! We really enjoy listening to you too! Almost as much as that inane chit-chit to your neighbour about your son’s bowel movements.
- Bolting at the door at pre-cise-ly at 4.47pm on the dot, everyday, does not endear you to your workmates.
- Yes, interesting how you’re all aggro in your emails, but smile at me and chat away in the lunchroom like butter wouldn’t melt.
- Enough of the Really! Colourful! Loud! HUGE Fonts! and Graphics! in your group Social Club emails. You’re giving me a headache.
